Exercise 3.4

Marshack, Kathy J. based on book by Judith Wallerstein. "Marriage Counseling: Maintaining a Strong Marriage." The Good Marriage. copyright 2000-2007. 16 Oct. 2007. <http://www.kmarshack.com/therapy/marital/tipmarriage.html>


Step 1


I have been influenced by observing the marriages of other people. I have seen both postiive and negative elements. I think I know what consitutes a strong marriage. Good communication is key. I cannot quite identify with my subject because I am not yet married. However, I am betrothed which has the same commitment that marriage has; it ends in death or marriage. The elements of a strong marriage are hard for me to describe. You have to be committed to each other and share most (if not all) of the same values and morals. I have seen marriages get shaky because of spiritual issues and lack of good communication. I have heard of marriages that ended because of those same issues. I want to have a stronger marriage with more open communication than those I have observed.


Step 2


2. This article contains nine elements that are important for maintaining a strong, healthy marriage. Some of them involve communication - with family members and each other. It is important to have a safe haven and maintain a level of privacy for the couple and the family they are building together. They need to share friends, interests, and experiences so they do not get bored with or loose interest in each other.


3. "nine critical psychological tasks that take place in a healthy marriage... separate emotionally from the family of one’s childhood in order to invest fully in the marriage,... build togetherness,... embrace the daunting role of parenthood ... while the couple works to protect their privacy,... confront and master the inevitable crises of life, maintaining the strength of the bond in the face of adversity, ... create a safe haven for the expression of differences, ... use laughter and humor to keep things in perspective, and to avoid boredom by sharing fun, interests and friends, ... provide nurturance and comfort to each other, satisfying each partner’s needs for dependency and offering continuing encouragement and support, ... keep alive the early romantic, idealized images of falling in love while facing the sober realities of the changes wrought by time." (passage was short and in a list format)


4.