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Those two concepts, love and commitment, seem to be inseparable. If you love someone, then you are committed to them. My dad said this so concisely when he firmly stated, "Love isn't emotion, it's commitment." My parents have now been married for over twenty-two years and just recently finished training as marriage mentors. They love each other even more now and are even more committed to each other than when they were first married. To our society, that sounds wonderful but strange. Wouldn't it be hard to maintain those loving emotions for each other for that long? My father made the observation, "Our society thinks love is all about emotions." Most seem to have this view that the love must be gone if the touchy-feelings are gone and there is no longer an emotional high. As psychologist(s), Wallerstein & ___, state in their book, The Good Marriage, "Happy marriages are not carefree. There are good times and bad times, and certainly partners may face serious crises together or separately" (12-13) But even if they have separate battles, they will always be able to depend on one another for support. (continue addressing this issue & incorporate sources)


As everyone knows and my communication teacher stated so succinctly, "Relationships take work" (Wobbe). Work is hard. Not many people like to work and toil. What makes the work and toil worth it is that pay check at the end of the month or that good feeling for helping someone in need. Marriage is rewarding. "We want to be loved and know that someone will always love us" (Leininger) Committed marriages have this guarantee. However, the reason for this relationship should not be for what you can get, but what you can give. Selfishness has nothing to do with love. Love is what you can do for someone else, not what you can get. (continue...)

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"[W]e see that this unity is to encompass all of life. It is not simply a physical relationship. Nor is it simply the giving and receiving of emotional support. It is rather the total union of two lives on the intellectual, social, spiritual, emotional, physical levels" (Chapman 58). (copy thoughts already written elsewhere about this here & expound)

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